Our first all-inclusive trip, in 1998, was to the El Pueblito in Mexico, a medium-rated (three-star) resort located on the hotel strip in Cancún. That was our introduction to the Caribbean Sea, and we were so taken by the white, sandy beaches and magnificently deep-blue waters that we returned three years later to the Mayan Riviera, a tourist area that’s a 45-minute drive up the coast from Cancún and includes the quaint town of Playa del Carmen and the stunning island of Cozumel. For that vacation, we booked a week at the more upscale Iberostar Paraíso Beach Hotel, a five-star property that boasted more luxurious accommodations than the El Pueblito, and—with five restaurants as opposed to two—a lot more varied grub. But the Iberostar’s gusty, rock-laden beach wasn’t so endearing, and for us it’s all about the beach. Unless the pool has a swim-up bar, of course.

By the time 2004 rolled around, though, Dawn and I realized there was a catch involved with any future all-inclusive getaways, and her name was Tess. Our seven-year-old made it abundantly clear that she wanted to get in on the A-I action. So the objective now was to find a package that would continue to spoil the adults but also show the kid a grand time. After much scouring of glossy, fun-in-the-sun brochures, we decided that Club Med—with its wide-ranging children’s programs—was the best option.

Founded in 1950, Club Med is the originator of the all-inclusive format. The France-based company runs more than 100 resort locations in 40 countries, and its services include “children’s clubs”, activity-oriented childcare that allows parents to go off and be totally irresponsible. There is baby Club Med (for four months to 23 months), petit Club Med (two and three years), and mini Club Med (four to 10 years). The baby and petite clubs’ services cost an extra US$45 a day, but the mini club is included and features such activities as in-line skating, archery, mini golf, swimming, games, arts and crafts, and circus school, where kids eight and older can learn to juggle, walk a tightrope, and swing on a trapeze.

The children’s clubs are available at various Club Med resorts, including the Sandpiper (Florida), Punta Cana (Dominican Republic), and Ixtapa (Mexico). Because we’d grown so fond of the Caribbean, we seriously considered the Punta Cana location, but in late November, when we wanted to go, the resort was still closed due to the summer’s hurricane damage. We decided to go with Ixtapa, which, because it’s set on Mexico’s Pacific coast, meant we wouldn’t be experiencing that gorgeous turquoise water. But sometimes you just have to make sacrifices for the benefit of your kids.

The Ixtapa Club Med is 180 kilometres north of Acapulco, about a half-hour’s drive from the international airport in Zihuatanejo. When we pulled in, we were immediately shown around the sprawling, 12-hectare facility by Stephane, a GO from Montreal (GO stands for “gracious organizer”). The personal tour was helpful, as we learned where the various children’s Clubs were located, not to mention the quickest way to the bar. We arrived on a Friday night, and because there are no supervised kids’ activities on Saturday, we’d have a full day with Tess before passing her off. Checking out the mini-club schedule for “iguanas” (six and seven year olds), we learned that the Sunday activities started with in-line skating at 9 a.m., followed by arts and crafts, playground, circus or archery, then swimming pool or soccer. After a 45-minute lunch at noon, it was story time, musical games, sailing or beach, swimming pool or mini golf, then science fun. It certainly appeared as though Tessie would be kept busy until we picked her up at 5:30 p.m., but we still weren’t sure how she’d react in a new environment with a group of total strangers.

About an hour after signing Tess in to the mini club, we went back to check up on her, and by that point she didn’t even want us around; Miss Independence glanced up from her colouring book and tried pushing Dawn away. Relieved, we headed off to celebrate our new-found freedom with a piña colada and a paddle in the ocean. Because the 374-room resort was less than one-third capacity during our stay, there was no waiting for kayaks or catamarans. We’d just stroll down the beach, slip on a life vest, and hit the water.

Tess would have been perfectly happy to spend the entire week in the mini club; she became immediately attached to the outgoing, energetic GOs who supervised her group. And the talent show they put on one night, which saw the girls in colourful wigs and costumes, shimmying to the strains of “It’s Raining Men”, was a cheesy delight. But after a couple of days, we talked Tess into playing hooky and spending some quality time with us. She loved going out on the watercraft, frolicking in the surf, and swimming in the main pool (even though its shallow end was over her head). She also liked counting the scads of geckos and iguanas—located near a jungle, the hotel’s critter count is high—and hanging out with her new friends, eight-year-old Nicole from Florida and six-year-old Ariana from Portland. It’s easy to meet folks at Club Med—it’s almost impossible not to—because you’re seated at tables with others at mealtime. Most people we met were from the U.S. and Canada; our first morning there we took breakfast with a young couple from Surrey and their 15-month-old daughter.

Although the buffet meals were tasty and the options plentiful, I should mention that halfway through the trip that pesky Monty Zuma guy from the Neil Young album exacted a bit of stomach-centred revenge on me. I’d fallen victim to intestinal woes on the two previous jaunts to Mexico, but nothing severe enough to stop me from going back. The lure of the all-inclusive experience is just too hard to resist. Even with kids! -

ACCESS: Club Med offers weekly flights from Vancouver to Ixtapa, via Zihuatanejo Airport, from the beginning of November to the end of April. Call your travel agent or see www.clubmed.ca/.

By: Straight